yes.

So, after returning to my dark room and my bed suspended about 5 and a half feet off the ground (more or less) after realizing that I wasn't tired enough to drift off to sleep nor was I awake to get up and walk about. After laying there for a while, I wondered what it would be like to be suffocated (although I already had wondered before), and found out the first moments of it. Of coarse I didn't go through with it, I wouldn't want to die that way that soon. Just for educational purposes. So, I proceeded to turn on my lights clipped to the edge of my wardrobe/bedside table (originally intended to assist in lighting for reading in dark surroundings) and searched for, ah, only a previously drawn picture in pencil that may have been or not have been there. I did not find it for two reasons: one, I was not wearing my glasses, without them I can hardly see anything past my nose; two, it may had not have been there in the first place, which was probably it. After a while I discovered I enjoyed the bright lights, and turned them to my eyes and slowly closed them, hoping for another of countless times that I would wake up to another place, as another person, maybe in another civilization, another time, another world, or even an alternate dimension. Or see some sort of being in front of me, maybe one of my many self created individuals whom I know many of their secrets and events in their lives. Maybe I had fallen asleep, but only a seemingly long time ago... this could be all a rather unpleasant dream. A rather slow one too. Now, after nearly again pathetically puling myself to sleep, my deep reoccurring depressed feeling started to melt away a little... a song that I may have mentioned before stuck in my head... it was Blow Away... I do like that song. Well, after a while just laying there trying to get to sleep with the lights on, which I had almost accomplished, my sister came into my room alerting me of my previously endowed chores which consisted of cleaning the tub, mirrors, and toilet, all of which I volunteered for out of the choices also including the sink and the floor, and I forget the rest. I was okay with the dirty work. I must ask a favor of you though: Next time you sit on a toilet, take a moment to think of the poor, lonely underdog with a mortal soul and hopes and dreams like anyone else, who had to clean it. I didn't just briskly clean it, I nearly detailed it. I take pride in my new job. Well, at least the amount of pride you can get out of it. So, while this, my sister was saying various joke like things in a joyful manner, which I would normally join in on, but today, I still had a bit of greyness in me. Sadness, I mean. Nah, if your sad, you need a specific reason and it's quite on the outside. Melancholia? Depression? Either one. What bothers me, is it's terribly random and has no perceivable reason. Well, after finishing, I decided to type this out, just wanting to type something. Maybe I should post in this manner more often. Well anyways, incase you are wondering who I am, to the extent that concerns you, I am a sad- no, melancholic lonely young teenager who has no life and who's best attention is when someone merely clicks on a link to “favorite” one of their drawings on a popular website you might know, which brings them rare pride and happiness. The people I know even the closest don't know what goes on in my mind, only the tip of the ice burg, except for 2 beings, one, my self and the other knows everything. Of coarse some of my best thinking is done when I'm half asleep, usually consisting of various original stories normally never to be written or heard, although many might enjoy them. Rather extensive stories too. I wonder how many will read this... probably very little, which doesn’t bother me. I'm just rambling on anyways. Well, in reply to my last post,

I woke up. But I may be still dreaming...