Act 1,
Scene 2
Peter
Quince, Snug, Nick Bottom, Francis Flute, Tom Snout, and Robin
Starveling, working class men who had a hobby in acting all gathered
around to rehearse their play that they might get a chance to
preform, some day...
“Is
everybody here?” Quince asked, the director of the play, now
between excitement for starting something worthwhile, and fear of
what he had just created...
“You
were supposed to call them one by one, their names are on the paper.”
Bottom directed, as he was sure he could easily direct everything
in the play with his eyes closed and left hand tied behind his back.
“Here
are all the names of the people we thought would suit the characters
of our play for the duke.”
“No,
no, no. Quince, you're going about it all wrong, first you
have to read what the play is about, and then, and only then,
read the names of the actors and so on.” Bottom ever so
domineeringly corrected.
“Right...
Our play is going to be 'The most lamentable comedy and most cruel
death of Pyramus and Thisbe'”
“Good
choice. Quince, you can call them by name now.”
“Got
it. Nick Bottom?”
“Ready
as always! Show me the part I should play, any part at all, it could
be all of them all I care, I could pull it off just fine!”
“That
will not be necessary, you are supposed to be Pyramus.”
“So,
who is Pyramus, a lover or a tyrant? You know I could even do both-”
“He
is a lover that kills himself for love.”
“The
way I'll act it out the audience will not be able to restrain the
tears pouring out from their eyes, the very windows to the soul. I
will move storms in my doing, change the masses by my very words- but
I do like playing the tyrant types, so dramatic... although lovers do
speak deeply into the soul, causing enough sympathy to fill the ocean
of tears I will create...”
“Francis
Flute?”
“Here.”
“Now
you have the part of Thisbe.”
“Who's
Thisbe? A great hero? A chivalrous knight?”
“Not
exactly, it's the girl Pyramus loves.”
“Oh
please! Look, I'm finally growing a beard, see? I can't play a girl!”
“It's
alright, you can wear a mask see? Just talk really small-”
“I,
on the other hand, could take on the part of Thisbe, I can hide my
face! It'll be easy! Listen- 'Pyramus, there you are, I am the lady
Thisbe!” Bottom said, boasting in a voice very small.
“I
said you would play Pyramus! Now, Robin Starveling?”
“Here
Quince.”
“Ah,
you will be Thisbe's mother. Tom Snout?”
“Here.”
“You
will be Thisbe's father. Snug, you will be the lion, I hope that
suits you.”
“Do
you have the lion's part written already? I'm not good at memorizing
things...” Snug said, shuffling his feet, giving Bottom a chance to
think.
“You
don't have to memorize much! Just roaring, that's all.”
“Quince,
I could play the lion, easily! Every ear who hears the sound of my
roar will be utterly delighted, changed eternally by the deep wave of
sound, my monstrous roar! The duke will plead for me to roar again
and again!”
“And
if you were to do that Bottom, you would scare the ladies so terribly
that they would be scarred for life and we would all be dead!”
“That
would hang all of us!”
“True,
if it was that magnificent we would be dead, but I could do it so
softly and beautifully as a young bird, singing in the trees-”
“For
the last time Bottom! You must play Pyramus! Nobody
else! Understand? He is a sweet faced man, a proper man, you must
play him!”
“Okay...
what kind of beard should I have?”
“What
ever you want, I don't care-”
“Anything!
From the lightest blond to the most copper-like red to the darkest
black to the golden hue of the sun!”
“I
honestly don't care if you go bald- here you go people, your
parts. Practice them, learn them by tomorrow, meet me in the park
near the palace about a mile outside of town- while you are
practicing, I will figure out what kind of elements we should add,
just don't be late!”
“Yes,
we will rehearse most majestically and courageously. Memorize every
word.”
“We
will meet at the duke's oak.”
ACT
5, SCENE 1
“Theseus,
don't you find these lovers' stories strange?” Hippolyta asked,
cocking her head ever so slightly.
“Very
strange, near unbelievable. I never did believe such stories, or the
old classic fables. The imaginations of lovers and madmen! Lunatics,
lovers, poets, all the same. The crazy ones see more terrors than can
ever possibly exist, while the lovers are frantic and seeing their
loved ones as perfect. While the poet, so strange in the ways he can
create things out of almost nothing. No, I don't really believe it.”
the adamant duke said in reply to his future wife.
“But
their stories all line up so perfectly! Ah, but you may be right,
they are hard to believe...” Hippolyta was still trying to figure
it out, really.
“Ah,
here comes those lovers now. They do look happy...”
“Congratulations,
my lord!” Lysander beamed cheerfully.
“So,
what are we to do for entertainment? Where is Philostrate, he was in
charge of the plays!”
“Here,
mighty Theseus” said Philostrate, now arriving
“Philostrate,
what do you have planned for this most delightful evening?”
“Here
is the paper, there is a variety of choices! Which one would you like
to see first?” Philostrate said, presenting the paper containing
the many choices for the entertainment, which Theseus began to read
out loud.
“'The
battle with the centaurs to be sung with a harp' Nah, we've heard
that already
'The
riot of the tipsy Bacchanals, tearing the Theacian singer in their
rage' I've heard that one too.
'The
three muses mourning for the death of learning, late deceased in
beggary.' Nah.
'A
slow quick scene of young Pyramus and his love Thisbe, very
tragically humorous'
'Humorous'
and “tragic”? “Slow” and “Quick”? How can it have these
opposite elements to it at the same time? NOW THAT SOUNDS
ENTERTAINING! I want this one.” the duke exclaimed, quite pleased
with his choice, although Philostrate wasn't
“THAT
play. It's nearly ten words long! But even only ten words makes it
slow, it really isn't good. In the whole thing, it really lacks real
emotion to it. It is tragic because of the deaths of the characters,
but in doing so, I have to say I was glad it was over! Please don't
pick THAT one. There's much better on the list see-”
“Who's
in it?”
“A
group of working class Athenian men, never did anything with their
minds until now, I'm sure it wont be-”
“I
still want it!”
“No,
I've heard it, and you won't like it at all my lord, you REALLY don't
want to see it”
“You
aren’t changing my mind! I still want to see it! After all, it
can't be that bad! Bring them in.” the duke finally convinced him.
“Are
you sure? It sounds quite sad.” Hippolyta
“Trust
me, it'll be good!”
“Of
coarse, he says they can't even do THAT.”
“Exactly!
We should thank them for the entertainment even if it is bad, and if
it is it might be funny to watch them fail! And if they don't fail,
then we'll congratulate them! C'mon! It'll be fine!” Theseus
reassured, quite exited about his play.
“They
are ready to start the play, my lord”
“Let
it begin!” And the prologue started...
“if
we offend you, we do not mean to. We just want to show you some
entertainment, that is the true reason for our play.”
“interesting
prologue..” Theseus commented
“they
do speak the truth, better than bragging!”
“well,
it's still strange Lysander. Now what is next?”
“if
you are wondering about this show, this man is Pyramus, and the
lovely lady is Thisbe. Now this is phone, representing the phones
that the two lovers communicated with! This man, with the flashlight
and the dog is “Moonlight”, because the lovers were not afraid to
speak to each other in the night, therefore by moonlight. Soon after
a lion came along and scared Thisbe and she dropped her coat, and the
lion stained it with his bloody mouth. Then young brave Pyramus came
along and saw the bloodstained coat, thinking that the lion had eaten
his dear Thisbe. He shot himself in the terrible sorrow. Thisbe found
the late Pyramus and also killed herself in sorrow. Now, let the
lion, the phone, the moonlight and the two lovers tell you their
story.” the actor Quince announced, starting the play.
“I
wonder if the lion will talk” Theseus wondered.
“One
lion might not make a difference when all they do!”
“'Ello!
I, Snout, am the phone! You can see here, the right is Pyramus's home
phone, and the left Thisbe's cell phone, that's how they talked to
each other!”
“Demetrius,
would you want a phone to speak any better than this?” the duke
exclaimed.
“This
is the smartest phone I've ever heard!”
“Shhh!
Pyramus is coming!” Pyramus, played by Nick Bottom, walked across
the stage.
“Oh,
black night, not here in the day! It looks like Thisbe forgot!
Oh,
and the phone! Lovely, beautiful, earth rotting plastic, phone! The
way to communicate between her father's property and mine! Show me
the speed dial so I can talk through it! Thanks phone! Hey, Thisbe
isn't picking up! You liar! Curse you phone!”
“Um,
wouldn't the phone curse back? It seems pretty smart!” Theseus
interrupted inquisitively, receiving a reply by Bottom.
“Actually,
“You liar! Curse you phone!” is Thisbe's cue. Oh look, there she
is!” 'She' was more like a 'he', and indignantly Francis Flute
continued on, not with the best acting either...
“Oh
there you are, my iphone! The phone I call Pyramus with! Awesome! I
think I'll call him back!”
“She
called me back! VIDEO CHAT!”
“Oh,
there you are Pyramus!”
“I
am here! If only I could kiss you through the camera...”
“I
will try! Wait, OH COME ON! It just blurred up the lens!- That was
actually my phone you know, I hope I could clean that, I just bought
it, remember-”
“maybe
we should meet in person, in character.”
“Agreed.”
the two actors walked off.
“My
part as the phones, is done. Oh joy...” Snout also followed them.
“now
that was weird...” Theseus remarked.
“yeah,
what kind of person would think they could kiss through a phone?”
Hippolyta responded, thinking the poor acting was really getting
annoying.
“Maybe
it'll get better (I hope) just imagine it better than it is, and
maybe in your mind it will come true! Yeah, I've got nothing.”
“um,
I hope none of you get scared from this, I'm not really a lion, just
a person. Yeah.” Snug warned, ever so carefully.
“well,
at least he has a conscience”
“I
am the horned moon, with this flashlight” the actor Starveling
announced.
“what
does that supposed to mean? If he was horned, then he should have
horns on his head!” Demetrius said, quite conflicted.
“the
flashlight is the moon! I am the man in the moon!”
“then
shouldn't he be in the flashlight?” Lysander asked.
“how
would he get himself in there?”
“go
on with the play.”
“all
I have to say is the flashlight is the moon, I am the man in the
moon, and that is er- my dog.”
“Hey,
this is, like, where I was supposed to meet Pyramus! Where is he?”
The rather masculine Thisbe said, not quite pulling it off. Snug the
lion roared and Thisbe dropped her coat, and the lion stained it with
his bloody teeth.
“well
said, lion. And then came Pyramus!” Demetrius commented
“and
then the lion ran away.”
“Hey
moon! Thanks for the light! Now where is Thisbe- her coat! It's dead!
Did she die too? OF COARSE SHE DID! OH NO!” The sorrow was too much
for the character Pyramus to bear, but bearable to the audience.
“Ah,
the death of a friend.” Theseus sighed.
“Now
I pity him.” Hippolyta said, not quite drawn into the act yet.
“WHY?
She was nice, and- well, I can't say good looking, but she was nice!
WHY??? Oh look I have a gun. I WILL END MY LIFE! BANG! I AM DEAD. My
soul is leaving me, to the cold lonely moon. NOW DIE DIE DIE!!!!”
Pyramus, really the boastful Bottom, announced ever so noticeably.
“How
many times did he just die?” Demetrius questioned.
“Don't
ask, sometimes it's best not to.” Lysander suggested.
“I
don't care how many times he dies, I just sure hope this ends
quickly. I want to get to the cake.” Hippolyta said, rather bored.
“Hey
look! She saw him!”
“Look,
I thought this was a date, not a slumber party. Oh wait, you're
dead.-YOU'RE DEAD? Aww, Too bad. At least you died just enough times
for me to have a bullet left! Yay.
And
now Thisbe ends, and I can get out of this dress. Adieu Adieu Adieu.”
he said, rushed, the dress was very uncomfortable after all.
“Hey,
now that that's over, do you want to see an after show?” Bottom
asked.
“Nah,
that's enough of dieing for one night. It was good though!” Theseus
said, stoping Bottom from any more acting.
~~~~~~
HOPE YA LIKED IT! AND I'M 4847 DAYS OLD!!! =D
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