Saturday, December 28, 2013

Well, that was two days and I no longer really care. Now I have more to life than posting words on the internet, or lying about when I did it man. I do whatever I want- Only a slave to my inspiration and insanity now. Just hope I can get to sleep without screaming tonight.

Well, today I started to make some eyes. Because that's what I do. I don't know why, but a sence of fear has come over me, like something is behind me. Staring at me, but I think I'll ignore that until it makes the room go dark. Only speculation, but I have to be aware of my neck.
Maybe I should have some tea. Tea is good. Maybe that's my problem. Or the weather, or something in my brain truly is rotting away because really- Nothing is wrong. Ignoring that, everything is fine and dandy. Unfortunately you can't excape your own brain's reality. It's like you get trapped on a different plane for a while, terrifying and senseless, just to bring up all the mistakes in what appears to be the real world. And then you start to think you've hurt people, killed people- But it's not true yet it is, transformed into a monster and you can't excape.
It went away after an hour last night, couldn't bear going in my bed so I sat on the floor, singing a song by the who. Then I ate a banana and had a dream about something terribly dull. Dull is sweeter than terror, now I know. But the feeling of being bored brings on more than it should...
I don't want to go to sleep. I'm sad, lonely and afraid and I don't know why.
And I keep on seeing people behind me, clothed in dark things.
I realised today that I didn't want everything that I ever wished for to be true, because I don't want to die.
I just don't want to go to sleep in the dark. That's all I ask for right now.
And I don't want them to kill me.

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