Instead of copying and pasting eight pages of writing that may not be, but most likely is, crap- I'll give you random snippets of it. Maybe you could figure out the plot- MAYBE. PROBABLY NOT. LET IT BEGIN.
He had saved my life, and told me himself that I could repay him with company. I just wasn’t sure what company he had in mind.
He might of skipped town by now, found another job, taking his skills elsewhere, frightened off by a wide eyed boy enchanted with his mustache. It did sound hillarious, but felt more like getting hit by a train. Except I’d have died by now.
“Maybe I’m just hungry.” I reached for the door. Some idiot was riding a bicycle, a very obnoxious, squeaky bicycle.
He laughed, but then cried out in alarm as the tree he was leaning against fell over- it was in a pot. “City folk and their trees. Why, I oughta a-”
“I’m more surprised that you were out here waiting. Usually people end up thinking I’m odd, or crazy, or a something else.” He got up, “Don’t feel obligated to meet me as some sort of favor- But I would like a glass of water.” He wiped the sweat off his brow, sitting on the bench this time. “I must look a mess!” He laughed, head in hand.
First he saves my life, then he takes me out to a five star diner, and I make him ride his bicycle all the way over. Least I can do is get him some water.
I had never seen a man drink half a gallon of liquid without stopping to breathe before, but he did it.
The sunlight seemed to fill his face, catching it in his thick eyelashes and dark mustache.
“Drive- Drive as fast as they’ll let you.” He sat back again, as I floored it. He squealed, clutching the door, then laughed almost maniacly. I had successfully thrilled the man. “Careful- Careful!” There were people on the sidewalks, quite frightened, but I decided to give Renzo a bit of mercy and slow down before he fell out the door.
“That, and I’d pay anything for another bottle of the wine from a last night.” He stretched, sitting upright again. “Her cannoli was still sub-par.”
“I thought it was good.” I shrugged, parking my car on the ferry.
“Good heavens- You must be a cannoli virgin! Sub-par at a best.” I’d never been called a cannoli virgin before, so I had no reply. He was a bit odd, I had to say.
“And you’d like to think you could change that?”
“Certainly. You doubt my cannolis?” He pretended to glare at me disaprovingly, and I cracked up. “Just trying to make you a laugh.” He tilted his head, with a smile.
“Can’t see from my window- There’s a rather chunky woman in the way.” I made a choking noice, cracking up. He looked at me a bit confused, still serious.
John... Ehhh...” He looked up at the celing, squinting, as if he could almost spot his words up there. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Ehhh... Remember the boat ride last night?”
“Yeah?” I leaned in. I thought he was nervous, but if I was wrong, I could be the nervous one.
“Well...” He cleared his throat. “Do you think my trousers are alright?”
What?
“Uh- Why?” He blushed, looking about like he wanted to crawl in a dark space, never to be seen again.
“No- I mean, it was kind of cold last night, and these are so short- Do they look funny?” He pulled at the fabric, and I shook my head.
“Nice weather.”
“Cut that out.” I rolled my eyes.
“Scusi?” He sat up, hands on his knees.
“That. The weather. I know the weather’s nice. You said we should be past small talk.”
“You want a different talk?” He looked a bit confused. I’ll give him something to say. I put my foot on the gas pedal, as hard as I could. He screamed in surprise, gripping the seat. I drove up the side of the hill, then down, spun around the car and somehow managed to stop it back where I started. He sat there, frozen, panting. He slowly turned to me, eyes wide.
“That was wonderful...” He whispered, cocking his head again, looking at me as if I were some sort of Michelangelo, who had just sculpted David. He laughed all of a sudden, clapping his hands.
“Bravo! Again! Again!”
We were going straight down- there was a river at the bottom- it could of been really deep- or had rocks in it- But I didn’t want him to know that I was scared. That wasn’t going to happen. I laughed instead of screaming my socks off, and we kept on going down, top speed. The long grass whicked past us, and there was no stopping. I kind of wanted to stop now. I really wanted to stop, and I couldn’t. Renzo’s screaming seemed contageous, and he still haddn’t a place to put his hands. There wern’t seatbelts back then, the car was still struggling to gain popularity against the horse drawn carridge. I looked at him, and he grabbed at my waist as we were suspended in the air. We were falling. He was taking me away from the wheel, but couldn’t stop. His hands grabbed at my arms, my chest, trying to find some stable place. Finally we slammed down, and his screaming stopped with a sudden and sickening squeak. My vision turned black for a moment, hearing a splash.
“John, back there I may of thought I was dying, but it was quite the opposite. John, I’ve never felt so alive- That was... Sensational! Do it again!” He was absolutely mad.
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